On the first day of marriage the husband told the wife.”From today you have to stick on to all the rules in our family”.
The wife asked:”how many months after marriage babies are delivered here?”
Husband:”nine months”
Wife:”sorry.In that subject I will have to stick on to the rules in our family where babies are delivered after six months”
When his mother came home with the newborn baby the boy was curious.”Mummy?how do you make the baby”.She answered “By praying to god”
The boy was little anxious.He turned to his father.”daddy, how do you make the baby?”
Father said”By taking tablets”
The boy became impatient.He went to the grandfather “Grandpa! how did you make papa?”Grandpa said”out of cornflakes”.
The boy whispered impatiently.” nowadays nobody is aware of fucking it seems.”
Ateam of film artists came back after a show in gulf countries.The elderly lady artist came down in crutches because she broke her knees.
sombody whispered.”in dubai the punishment for prostitution is shooting at the nipples”
The politician was dining with his wife in a restaurant on their 25th anniversary of marriage.
The wife asked the man”.Have you been unfaithfull to me during these 25 years ?”
“Yes”.confessed the politician.”only one day.Do you remember my lady colleague who supported me for my candidature in party election”
“yes I remember.” “But I can forgive you because it was not for your pleasure you did it”.
Now it was his turn for finding out whether she was faithful.
“And have you been unfaithful to me”
she said shyly”Only one day.Do you remember you got elected for 32 votes more than you expected?
A couple goes to Mattuppetty,the bull farm in kerala , to watch the auctioning of bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off: “A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year.” The wife nudges her husband in the ribs, and comments, “See! That was more than 5 times a month!” The second bull is to be sold: “Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year.” Again the wife bugs her husband, “Hey, that’s some 10 times a month. What do YOU say to that?” Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison. The third bull is up for sale: “And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 360 times last year!” The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, “That’s once a day, every day of the year! How about YOU?” The husband was pretty irritated by now, and yells back, “Sure, once a day! But ask the announcer if they were all with the same fat cow!”
There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been travelling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel.
He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and go on it again.
Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road. There was a broken down car with three big chested beautiful blondes sitting in it.
He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help.
The hottest girl said ,”If you fix our car we will do anything you want.”
The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash.
When he finished are three girls asked, “How could we ever repay you Mr.”
After thinking for a short while he replied,”Could you hold my camel for sometime?”
Sam rushed to william’s bachelor hostel where four of his friends were staying.
“Look everybody,I am going to conduct a mastrubation contest.I want to find out who will mastrubate most number of times.” He challenged.
The boys started mastrubation.The contest went on without anybody winning over the other and finally all the four gave up and fell down.
Then he announced.”Ok friends! I have urgent duty at night.Please let my wife sleep here tonignt”.
He brought his wife who was standing outside and showed her the bed.
A rich man wanted to marry.He was very particular that he should have a very innocent girl who has never seen a cock.He visited many homes in search of girls. He insisted everywhere for a private talk with the girl and during the private talk he took out his cock and asked the girl to say what it is.Most of the girls answered right.Then he left unsatisfied.
At last one girl answered wrong.She was exited to see the cock and said that it is a toy.The man was very happy to find a girl who has never seen a cock. finally he married the girl.
On the first night he again took his cock and told her.”dear ,this is not a toy as you think”.”this is the cock”.
She chuckled.”a cock? this one! No way! A cock is what our pastor is having.Otherwise take a look at our gardener’s cock. This is mere toy!”
A lady in the church: soul full of hope
A lady in the toilet : hole full of soap
Parents of the school boy was trying to find out somebody who can take care of the boy during his travel back to school in the train.Luckily they met a lady teacher going to the same school.The teacher was happy to take him but the parents reminded her .”He is a bit notorious miss! only during his sleep he used to keep his finger on his mother’s navel.”
“Never mind.” the teacher replied.”let him do it .After all he is a kid”
The parents went away happily.
The next morning the teacher asked the boy.
“You are the limit!naughty boy.Where did you keep your finger yesterday.did you think it was my navel?
The boy replied cool.” and did you think it was my finger”?
